There’s a reason you’re here and that reason probably just dumped a pile of work on your desk and then left for the cottage. Not to worry. We feel your pain and have provided this website as an instructional tool for extracting subtle but effective revenge.
If you are already proficient at voodoo magic, you’ll find our Voodoo LLP dolls to be a very natural extension of your usual practices. If this is your first time using voodoo to get even, we’ve got you covered as well, as each doll has been vigorously tested to work consistently within any legal environment.
Instructions
Repeat daily (or as often as necessary)
Remember, if your reasons for needing this doll are marketing related, we at Cubicle Fugitive thrive on last minute assignments, unrealistic timelines, challenging projects and decisions by committee. Let us take on your burden, leaving you more time to play with your doll.
Remember it’s all about conviction. Enjoy!
Get StartedGot an attorney-induced migraine? Before taking medicine, try two pokes here for a fast-acting, 24-hour pain remedy.
Want some genuine peace and quiet? Trace the pin around the lips for some instant silence (also works for bad breath).
Eleven at night and you’re still getting emails? Five pokes to each hand will limit electronic messaging capabilities, effectively hampering any already atrocious typing skills. Hunt and peckers will be left completely immobile. Note: Combine with a poke to the lips to eliminate digital dictation as well.
Let’s face it. Every boss can be a bit of an *$$. Stick the doll here and your pain is now their pain.
Planning on taking an extended lunch and don’t want to book vacation time to do it? A double poke here and no one at the firm will even notice you were gone. Take the whole afternoon off if you like.
Wish the attorneys at your firm spent less time dictating and more time listening? Poke here and swish around to clean out the lines of communication. Pro-tip: the deeper the poke, the greater the impact on balance. Poke deeply for instant hilarity.
Need to send out a memo reminding partners that life exists outside of work? A quick poke to the old love muscle will get the emotions (and waterworks) flowing. Please note: results vary by original size of heart.
While primarily to be used as a tool for revenge, Voodoo LLP dolls are uniquely multi-purposed and can solve a variety of challenges inside and outside the workplace.
Here are a few other suggested usages:
*Not a legally binding NDA. Cubicle Fugitive & Voodoo LLP are in no way responsible for any information shared between you and your doll. **See full legal disclaimer.
Yes. Well kind of. Actually, not really. This is for real jokes and is intended to be taken in good humour. If you do not have good humour, you have probably made it too far into this website already and should turn back immediately.
When no one is looking.
Yes, but for best results, it is recommended to first use it on the practice group leader and monitor results. We call it the "Queen Bee" approach.
Who are you kidding? You don’t get to go home.
First, we suggest you don’t ask that question out loud. Second, the answer to that question is yes. And she can do anything that he can, if not at least 33% better. Dammit.
Act natural. Do whatever you normally do to get attorneys to leave your office. (e.g. Tell him you have thirty vendor checks that you need signed or want him to lead a committee of associates to discuss office renovations). If that doesn’t work, offer him a drink from your emergency stash if he will just walk away, no questions asked.
Um…we don't know.
Marketing your business shouldn’t be complicated. At Cubicle Fugitive, we pride ourselves on being transparent, easy to work with, full-service and fun (it doesn’t have to be a painful process).
Having both worked in and alongside law firms for many years, Cubicle Fugitive has a unique understanding of Legal Marketing and appreciates the complexities and time constraints of a partnership mentality. We thrive on having our designs judged by a committee of attorneys and excel at last minute decisions and rush ads.
Our recommendations are based on fundamental business strategy and are backed by years of industry experience. We are 100% client-centric, meaning we eliminate the headaches associated with a typical marketing agency while providing a full-range of services to help you grow your firm. No matter what the project, we uncover what makes your firm unique and devise the most effective, memorable and measurable solutions to drive business goals with a unified message. And along the way, we’ll arm you with all the information you require to get your project passed and budgets approved.
In essence, we take marketing and make it simple. Partner with us and you’ll see how.
Toll Free:1.800.208.6529
Email: info@cubiclefugitive.com
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Seriously, no parts of the Voodoo LLP products or pamphlet are intended to be taken seriously. Voodoo LLP, the pamphlet and the doll were not meant to offend or harm anyone. Likeness of the Voodoo LLP doll to any actual person is completely coincidental. Everything we have created is to have fun and make work a little more enjoyable. It’s the cubicle fugitive way.